No, I didn't forget.
Not really anyway, it just slipped my mind. Trying hard to keep on track, and applying to more underpaid jobs at organizations I know and appreciate. It's not easy to keep the enthusiasm levels up all of the time. I had better do it quick too, because I'm not getting any more positive about them over time.
In the mean time, I'm turning down teaching gigs I can't and won't do. Just the thought of it fills me with dread, and that doesn't seem like the way forward.
I know it's the me being tired to the bone who is typing this, but in many ways it feels as if I'm back to where I was, only a bit more aware of it.
Yes we're hoping for things to work out soon, which means me making plans for me is futile. It's not futile, I know that. We've been hoping for almost 2.5 years for things to work out soon. Going by the assumption (the truth) that things will change at their own pace (making a snail seem F1-like), I need to make plans for me.
The fact is that my current job will end by 31-03-11. That is in 6 weeks. As the sole earner in this family, this means I need to find another source of income and I need to find it soon. And then, in 4 months, I'm supposed to be in Scotland, where I think I belong and need to end up. Right now, all I'm finding are jobs I'm hopelessly overqualified for, jobs that disappear from websites and jobs that would suit me, but "please send your cv next year."
Previously mentioned by-lines and side-tracks have been abandoned as fast as they were conceived, going downhill with the positive vibe. My sorry attempts at designing knits are not far behind.
I can't believe I felt positive about all this just a few weeks ago. I wonder when I'll get it back. I'm running out of time...
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