Love Your Blog - Mothers Who Stare at Goats, or a short tale of a wonky inner eye

This week's prompt (or last week's, but this one had to percolate for a while) is Ugly. It didn't seem like a subject I wanted to talk out loud about, so you'll have to read this one for yourself. Sorry, not sorry.

So, Ugly. Like beauty, you can find it in the eye of the beholder. I try not to behold a lot of ugly in my eye as beauty is so much easier on it.. Frankly, I reserve the ugly for inward looking* which means it's confession time. 

Hello, my name is J, I'm 36 and I carry around a lot of self-loathing, disappointment and very little hope. I keep all of this in a tightly sealed container, so you don't have to fear contamination (much). Periodically the seal breaks and if other life challenges coincide, the lid flies clean off, carrying me along in a downward spiral**. It's not a pretty sight, in fact, it does get quite ugly. On the inside, of course.*** 

I know I'm not the only one who suffers from a Wonky Inner Eye. Lots of otherwise lovely people have written about it. Some have trouble getting the lid back on, while others are working very hard on emptying the container. 

Me?

I'm working on it. When WIE takes over completely****, I stare at Goat Boy***** and start a podcast. 

That's enough for now, I'm not ready nor willing to delve any deeper. You deserve better. I have tea and thoughts of gin that need my full attention. Next week will be better, promise.

Love, 

J

*don't try this at home
**nothing at all like a "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE slide" whatsoever. Unfortunately.
***unless you find yourself very close, you might never notice, which is exactly how I'd like it to remain, above all, one must be liked.
****hormones are a bitch. get out of my brain tyvm.
*****not his actual name