yeah yeah, i know

it has been a while......

but while being back, i've been busy at the old boring job and catching up on sleep because of the old boring job. not much of an excuse, sleeping and working, but nothing much has happened really. you see, i did not get asked for a job interview for the job i desperately wanted, i did not so far win any kind of lotery, and i generally did not do much of anything at all. so why blog now? well, it seems like there is nothing much at all i can do at the moment. there are no jobs, crappy or otherwise, to apply for, there seems to be no fund for me to do anything but sit here and write, or read, or do some oldfashioned handy crafty stuff. i've done the latter, some of the middle so now i've come to do the former.

for those of you who know and those of you who don't, i'm trying to get myself across an ocean for a fair bit. there are plenty of ways to acquire a visum (or is it always visa?): you get married or engaged, you find a job, you make sure you have enough money to apply for a very very long travel visum/visa, or you go and play student. people who know me, and now all of you who don't know much of me, the first option is not much of an option. not because i've not been asked, but marriage is just not an option under any circumstance. i said no, many a time, and with witnesses. and in this case..... well, i don't feel much for being a missus to begin with, but being missus #3 is really not that appealing.
as far as option number 2 is comming along, i have not been able to even get a laughing response from those i applied to. and, if you can't even be bothered to send me an email back laughing your ass off in my face telling me to bugger off, i can't be bothered to ask you again if you please please please want to give me a job. although i'm pretty sure i'm up for it. it's that one-eyed thing i'm talking about, for those who know their mythologies.
due to crappy job, option 3 is a non-option, working a grand total of 8.25 hrs a week hardly supports me, saving up for multiple thousands of dollars is more of a mirrage than a distant reality.
in the light of my constant failing to find a job, the last option has always looked very appealing, for whatever reason that might be. during the last 4 years, i have been looking into going abroad for a semester, or maybe 2, to take a few courses in creative writing. the silly screenplay i wrote as a dissertation to finish my MA nudged me even more in that direction so it looks to be a viable option. i found me a nice person at UT Dallas who is forwarding my emails to someone who actually knows what steps to take, but she's not there for at least another week because of the silly holiday season. but, it's an opening, so i can't complain. ayway, today i went looking for funds. there's a great fund for dutch students trying to go to the us. it's so great that they want to ensure you don't go back for at least 2 years so if you are granted with this grant (which would actually almost cover tuition fees for 2 semesters), you are not allowed to enter the US on another visum/visa for 2 years after the period for which the grant has been granted has finished. so, while it may get me over there for a year, i can't go back but as a tourist for the following 2 years. if, for once, things go as planned, that is not really a good idea. so, unless i get any assistance in funding from that side of the pond, or i actually do win a 5 digit number not starting with 1 or 2 this new year's eve lottery, this looks like yet another dead end.

so, if you have a couple of thousand lying around doing nothing and you don't miss it, let me know. i know a really nice and friendly writer-to-be who could use it.........